They (who?*) say the greatest measure of sanity is when one doubts one’s own sanity. It’s a psychological “opposite day” where insanity is sanity and denial is the key symptom of that pathological prison that will leave you labeled forever and ever amen. Meaning: denial is insanity. Of course, this makes sense when you consider the adage that “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results” is insanity. You’re expecting all of us to believe that you are perfectly sane when the fact of the matter is that you are just as crazy as the rest of us. But since I can only speak for myself— I’m crazy— and that admission makes me not crazy; maybe you should try opening your mouth more. Whatever. Father’s Day is approaching and I know what you’re thinking: “ugh, another stupid fucking Hallmark holiday.” And maybe you’re right. And maybe I’ll go back to this sort of thinking after the initial “wow, I really am a father” thing dissipates and turns into: “man, this is real work and I don’t get to spend as much time with my little boy as I’d like to because his mother and I cannot get along.” And it sucks. He’s not old enough to really show any kind of appreciation for me outside of smiling and babbling at me or laughing at my stupid faces and sounds. But he will be. And I will make sure that he has a reason to appreciate instead of resent me. I love him more than anything and I still love his mother to the point of a very deep pain that I am not sure will ever go away. When I use the term “art” for what I do or refer to myself as an “artist,” I’m using the word in a very broad fashion. I don’t exclusively do anything, but I consistently do one thing: create. My main outlet is writing and my ultimate desire is to be a novelist, but I draw so much of my influence from other things that I’ve had to really learn how to focus and use my other endeavors as a manner of combating stagnation when it comes to scribbling my bullshit. Hence all the drawing and painting that shows up here on the page. Anyway, fuck it, back to staring at the wall.

*needs citation.